On the Dingle Peninsula in Ireland lies the ruined church of Kilmalkedar.  The church was built in the 12th century at a time when England was attempting to absorb the established Irish traditions, and for that reason there are many pre-Christian artifacts on the grounds as well.  Among them stands a six foot tall stone pillar called an Ogham Stone, thought to be about 900 years older than the ruined church itself.  This particular stone had a hole cut through it, and it is believed that many people stood on either side of the stone and touched thumbs through the hole in order to seal a compact.  What deals of importance may have been made here?  Treaties between warring clans, business contracts, promises between neighbors?  Famed European travel guide Rick Steves calls out this particular spot in his Dingle Peninsula Loop Trip and suggests that marriage vows could be renewed there as well.

So it was that exactly one week after our wedding, my wife Beth and I stood on either side of the stone and inserted our thumbs in and proclaimed our love for one another once again.  There was a kiss and a photo and we moved on to finish the tour.  At the end of the day Beth and I returned to the Bed and Breakfast we’d stayed at with a box of pizza and a bottle of Magner’s and sat on a picnic table by Dingle Bay and watched the sunset.  It still stands as one of our happiest memories.

But while I think of that night by the Bay I often think of the Ogham Stone at Kilmalkedar.  Sometimes I see my relationship with my wife flowing through the small hole in that stone, so many momentous occasions of untold importance, all to be found in such a small space.

You see, my wife and I met when we were into our thirties, many more years after many of our friends and contemporaries had already met their significant others and settled down together.  Often we bemoaned the fact that we had not met earlier in life, having missed out on the opportunity to spend more time together doing the things we loved.  That being said we certainly have made the most of of the time we’ve spent together.

I remember clear as day the night we first kissed.  She made the first move of course, because I’ve always been slow to act and she was no longer willing to indulge me with more of her patience.  At a friend’s party she just reached out and kissed me and it was beautiful.  There was no question in my mind from that moment on that I had found my soul mate.

It was less than a year later that we decided to move in together.  Neither of us had ever lived with a significant other before, but there was no doubt.  When our existing leases had expired we found a cozy apartment in Plainville to move in, thanks to one of Beth’s co-workers who lived in the second floor apartment with her husband.  I remember the slog of packing up my things for the fourth time in four summers and grumbling to myself as I loaded up the truck.  But those feelings melted away completely as I pulled into the driveway and I felt giddy at the thought of finally coming home to my love, knowing we’d never live separately again.

We’d been living together for only a few months when I knew it was time.  I visited countless places looking for the image of the ring I had in my mind, trying to hunt down the perfect one.  Ironically I found it when I returned to the shop I had been to first.  I described what I was looking for to the person behind the case, and unlike my first visit, they immediately plucked something from the display and said, “You mean something like this?”  I’d found what I was looking for.

I had grand plans for the proposal that were completely dashed.  A snowstorm on the weekend of Halloween?  How could anyone have accounted for that?  If anything though, it made the day even more special.  We both remember clearly the snow on the leaves of the burning bushes outside the window after she said yes.

We were married the following year in August in the chapel at her old high school.  It was a staggeringly hot day.  The reception was at Jones River Trading not far from the house she grew up in.  It was beautiful and perfect and went by so quickly that we barely believe it was a whole day.  It was only two and a half years after that first kiss.

By the time our first anniversary rolled around we’d bought a house and Beth was pregnant with our first child.  This didn’t stop us from traveling to celebrate.  We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast in Bar Harbor near Acadia National Park.  During the day we drove to different spots at the park, taking in all it’s majestic beauty.  At night instead of having drinks we sat and played cards on the porch and peeked at the next day’s breakfast menu.  It was wonderful.

Snow marked yet another occasion in our life, as the first flakes of the winter were falling on the ground the day our son Ryan was born, less than four years after that first kiss.  Together we launched into the journey of parenthood which has had it’s shares of ups and downs.  Trials and tribulations that we’ve shared with those closest to us, and some that we discuss and recall only with each other.

Just over a year and half later, in the sweltering heat of July, we welcomed our second child Benjamin.  We fist bumped after she was wheeled out of the recovery room from her second C Section: both of us had always wanted two children, and our faces that day spoke only one thing, that the mission was accomplished.  Little did we know that the next six months would be marred with the most sleepless nights of our life, as Benjamin suffered through terrible symptoms related to reflux.  Often I would despair only to have Beth pick me back up again, over and over.  He is seven months old now and sleep is coming easier now, just as Beth assured me then that it would.

In the six years since that first kiss Beth has been my confidante, partner, mentor, inspiration, strength, and companion.  From her I have learned and grown and become the best man that I can be.  While we still sometimes bemoan the fact that we met so late, we know that we have squeezed every drop of life out of the time we’ve had together and have no regrets.  We often sit in bed together at the end of the day sharing our favorite memories from the past together, and think about memories yet to come.

I hope one memory finds us back on either side of the Ogham Stone at Kilmalkedar on the Dingle Peninsula in Ireland.  We’ll each place our thumbs in the stone and touch, and recite again our vows of love in front of our two children in one of the most beautiful places we remember: and we will press every ounce of joy we can through the small opening of time we are given there, as we have every day of our life together.